Several years ago I went to a Friday night talk with one of our pastor's wives and the topic ended up being grieving. Not necessarily death, but grieving our former life, the way things used to be. Of course to a bunch of newlywed girls this seemed really heavy and negative - we wanted to hear about happy stuff. But now I think I get it.
Although on a typical day I'm upbeat and excited about the baby, I've had pockets of time over the past few weeks where I'm clinging to the way things are right now, DINKs, just Steve and me. I know that Parenthood is going to be so rewarding and our capacity to love this baby will blow my mind, but for now I don't want to think about it. I love laying in bed at night and talking about our day or going out to eat with 30 seconds notice. I love going on vacation and only having to have our mail held and our neighbor to dog-sit for days on end. Now it's going to be a debate about whether we can bear to leave little Aloysius/Adelaide home for even a day.
So if you ask me if I'm ready to have this baby, I'll probably say yes just because pregnancy is getting a little more painful, but inside I'm still thinking no, that I'm enjoying the last little bit of our days "BC" (before children).