Sisterhood



Not me

Childbearing is a sisterhood in and of itself -- getting advice, comparing stories, venting, cheering, consoling, rejoicing.  And now I am part of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Maternity Jeans.  There is a certain pair by Liz Lange (for Target) that has made the rounds at our church, including Dunie, Meghan, Courtney, and now me.  We are not all the same shape and height, so it is kind of magical and fun knowing that all these wonderful women wore these jeans while gestating.  And I'm excited to pass them on (soon!) to someone else with a tiny peanut in her tummy.



33 weeks

This baby, little Sven Torsten...
... is approximately the size/weight of a pineapple (without the top, I presume).  At my bi-weekly OB appointments he's measuring right on track, and his heart rate and my BP are good.
... gets hiccups at least once a day.
... is very busy in there, just like his sister was.  Sometimes it feels like he's doing the Fighting Irish arm dance, but Steve thinks it's probably one-armed push-ups like the Nittany Lion.
... is scheduled for delivery Friday, October 21, which is 6 weeks away.  Sometimes that seems like a small eternity, and other days I feel like I don't have enough time left.  Go time!

I realize I haven't shared a whole lot about my pregnancy this time around, mostly because I haven't had the time to fixate upon it and share every nuance and difference compared to the first one.  The other part of the reason is because Mama always said if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.  So I will share the nice things...  A couple of the symptoms (cankles and round ligament pain) that plagued me last time have yet to make an appearance this time.  I realize I probably jinxed it by saying that, but if they start now it's still an improvement over last time.  I've been having Braxton-Hicks contractions, and it makes me wonder if I had been feeling them last time and just not realizing it.  At 39 weeks I wrote, "The baby pushes on the low anterior part of the entourage to the point where I have to practice my breathing exercises," which sounds like what I think I'm having now, tightness in my lower abdomen.  I also reported (starting at 33 weeks) "arthritic hips," which I don't remember but has become my biggest malady this time.  Since June if I walk/bike/do the elliptical or even stroll for an extended period I have so much hip pain, and Tylenol doesn't cut it. at. all.  I finally got a referral for PT after learning this may be an alignment issue and not just the work of progesterone loosening my joints/ligaments.  I miss being able to take walks with my family, especially now as the weather gets cooler.  I have been lifting at the gym, but now that makes me sore as well.  Thinking twice before getting something off the floor or from the basement pantry is making me feel downright slovenly. 

Okay, enough complaining.  Yay for fall!

The Rest of May

Hi, world.  I'm still here, it's just that I don't give much priority to blogging these days.  What's new? 

I spent last weekend at Lake Anna with three of my college roommates, catching up and relaxing.  These are still some of my dearest friends and I cherish any time I have with them.  I had seen two of them at our class reunion last fall, but it's so much more fun to relax on the dock with no kids to corral. 

Back on the homefront, several of our weekly activities have wrapped up for the summer, plus Steve hasn't had to travel much in the past few weeks, so it has been rejuvenating to spend time together as a family again.  Just the three of us, the dog, and little Nubbin who has started moving enough for me to feel.  For those of you who were not exhausted by my blogging every nuance of my first pregnancy, I apologize that I just don't have the time any more. Regarding FAQs: I'm feeling good, the next ultrasound is in June, and we are planning to share the baby's sex if you promise not to tell my dad because he wants to be surprised. 

Olivia has one more week of nursery school so I'm trying to cram in my appointments and work before she's all mine for the summer.  (By the way, work is going well! I just don't take the time to blog about it.) We're not going to talk about how naptime is no longer a sure thing (gah!).  At least the pools are open now, so that's something to do during nap strikes free afternoons that we can't do in the mornings (when pools are closed for swim team and lessons).  Oh, and?  Yard sales are awesome for finding inexpensive new toys. 

Yesterday we went to the farmer's markets for the first time this season (Berryville & Purcellville).  Strawberries, eggs, summer squash, cupcakes.  I figured buying local produce even at these prices is still cheaper than a farm share and then we're not stuck with mass quantities of kale and stuff.  We're just not big vegetable people.  Or maybe we're just not big vegetable adventurers; we stick with our favorites.  After Olivia's nap (the first in three days, but we're not talking about it) we picnicked with playgroup families.  I can already tell a difference from last summer (same picnic hosts) how independent Olivia is in terms of us not needing to hover while she plays.  At the playground she's able to do so many more things this year, too, but one of us still tends to walk around and help her get unstuck.  I expect it will be like starting back at square one with the new little one, but I dream of someday being one of those moms who can read a book at the playground.  Someday.  There will still be books around when Nubbin is yelling, "Look, Mommy" from the top tower. 

Today after church Steve got to play golf with friends, a rarity, and Olivia is napping (after I went in to put the kibosh on her playing frog for an hour), so all is well.

New life

I love spring!  So many things about it represent new life...  Flowers, robin eggs, Easter (the cross, not the bunny), ducklings, bright green grass, leaf buds popping out...   My orchid is not to be outdone by the fruit trees; it has two branches full of blooms. 

Aaaaaaaaannnd there's a baby growing in my belly!  We are thrilled to be expecting this new little one in October.  I am so thankful that Olivia is still napping well because this whole first trimester has been a challenge for me to make it past lunchtime before collapsing into bed.  (Sorry for the lack of posting lately.)  I had morning sickness for a few weeks early on, but I'm feeling fine now, hungry all the time.  I'm so excited for several of my friends to be in my People Who Were Pregnant At The Same Time Club.

The early OB appointments have gone well, but it's a little strange to be starting out with a different practice.  (My previous OB quit 8 months into my first pregnancy.)  The first ultrasound (3/17) showed the baby all curled up and quiet, but that strong little heartbeat was so reassuring for Steve and me to see.  At 11 weeks the doc said it was a little early to heart the heartbeat on the Doppler, but then he tried it and didn't get a reading and didn't want to send me home like that, so he squeezed me in for a little surprise ultrasound.  The baby was moving around like crazy, somersaults and stretches, and the heartbeat was just fine.  I'm sorry, but that little one on the screen is so much cuter than the illustrations.

Olivia is doing really well, talking and singing all day long.  We haven't tried to explain the baby thing yet, but she loves her doll baby and reads to her, feeds her, and teaches her letters.  She says lots of things that make us laugh ... "Hmmm... Let's see," "Not yet," "Where we goin-in?"  When she sees us in the morning it's "Good nap?"  Songs include the ABCs, Twinkle Star, Baa Baa Blacksheep.  Wants to know the name for everything ("What dat called?") and she looooves watching Caillou. 

Happy spring!  Here's to new life.

Painting

My friend Jennifer is an artist, so when she offered to paint something on the nursery wall I asked if she'd like to take on my unfinished project instead. (Side note: I got the purse that features the paisley fabric after seeing Jennifer's purse from the same series.) She graciously accepted and

this is the finished product. I absolutely love it and think it looks way cooler than what I had planned. She also did the circles canvas, so I'll post a picture when I get that grouping up on the wall.

How it's going - Week 3

Hi, gang. I know you guys want to hear in great detail the ins and outs of newborn baby-wrangling. Sorry to disappoint! It's all I can do just to *read* messages in my inbox, let alone respond to them or blog about our daily activities.


I want to give a shout-out to my rock star husband Steve. He will do anything for us (case in point, he's letting me borrow his boxer briefs) and is incredibly encouraging and supportive. He has literally been my shoulder to lean and cry on, and I love him so.



Our parents and friends have likewise been so helpful, from my mother-in-law driving down from upstate NY for the first three nights we were home to my mom scrubbing our kitchen floor on hands and knees to all the people who have provided food, flowers, and veteran baby-wrangling advice.


So anyway, we are doing well. Yes, we're sleep deprived, frustrated at times, grieving our life BC (before children), and unable to fully flush the smell of poo from our nostrils, but doing well.



Olivia is very sweet and good, has been sleeping in 3-4 hour chunks this week. (Weeks 1 & 2 were 5-6 hour stretches but not starting until midnight so I'll take the smaller stretches if I can go to bed earlier.) She can hold her head up and has been opening her eyes more lately; in the swing they open and close like a doll. She is and having more "awake" time and is quiet and happy until she gets hungry. She sneezes a lot (in multiples like Mama) and has the uncanny ability to poo immediately after a diaper change no matter when it is. I can't believe how many diapers we have already used, and she's already out of size N and into 1's. We're still waiting for the umbilical stump to fall off so she can have a big-girl bath in the tub. She had her first sickness-requiring-a-prescription this week, a plugged tear duct with erythromycin ointment. We also had our first solo-outing-involving-leaving-the-car: going for a walk at my parents' house. (A drive-through or going somewhere with Steve is one thing, working by myself with the stroller & carrier is a whole new level for me!) This week Steve had his first overnight business trip, which I think was hardest on him due to the lack of sleep.

My staples and Percocet were around for Week 1 and I took ibuprofen through Week 2 (now I'm done). Today I finally read my discharge instructions which brought up a good point: Ladies On Pain Meds, it's important to take your Colace. Just trust me. Breastfeeding is going okay, but it makes me hungry all the time. More on BF later maybe. In other Anne news, I'm having wardrobe challenges as I'm not *quite* my old size but too small for maternity stuff. Things that looked good stretched over my "rock hard" pregnant abs do not look good on my postpartum belly. (I don't think I mentioned the part of the birth story where, despite my being in the middle of a painful contraction, the image of the readout on the scale got burned in my memory. Bah!) My cankles reached an all-time hugeness in the days following my surgery but I'm finally finished retaining fluids. That being said, my feet are still longer than they were pre-pregnancy so my shoes still don't fit. I'm going to give it a few more weeks to see if anything changes, and then Mama is going shoe shopping!

A lot of people have asked how Riley is handling being second fiddle. She is very curious about the baby and sniffs her a lot, but in general Riley keeps her distance. She is a little more clingy with Steve and me than before and needs to have her ears scratched a little more, but otherwise she's great. Thankfully she's not one of those dogs who wants to kiss the baby all the time.

So anyway, life is going well and I hope to keep you posted on the highlights when I have the time. That whole thing about "sleep when the baby sleeps"? It's actually sleep, shower, clean, do laundry, fill orders, write thank-you notes, *or* blog while the baby sleeps. I'm getting nothing done.

Olivia's Birth Story

Okay, so the part you know is that I had a very "unripe" cervix over the weekend, but did lose my mucous plug which meant very little except reassuring me that maybe this baby was going to come out on her own after all. So Sunday evening I was feeling kinda slow and hermit-y, like I just wanted to hunker down and watch all the shows I'd been saving up on the DVR. Steve convinced me to go with him to grab a bite to eat, and I noticed a couple times that the baby was pressing hard on my belly, somewhere in between my navel and bladder. This had happened before, but never this often and usually in conjunction with the baby moving. By the time we got home I was like, "There it is again," and then we started timing them.

By 7:00 Sunday evening the "kicks" had become pretty regular, around 8 minutes apart and 30 seconds long. We timed some more, I took a shower, we watched more TV and finally put on a movie to have something to distract me. The contractions were becoming more intense painful and closer together, and around 1am they had been the requisite 5 minutes apart for an hour so we went to the hospital. In L&D Nurse Sarah checked my cervix and it was thinning nicely and had dilated to 1-2 cm, which unfortunately was not that impressive to the staff (they wanted to see more progress). We were told to walk around the halls for a while and come back to get checked out, and Sarah also told me that the intense pain in my lumbar region that came with every contraction was due to the baby presenting posterior, in other words I was in Back Labor. I don't recommend it. Steve and I slowly walked the halls and swayed back and forth; he was a wonderful shoulder to lean on. After a couple hours of walking and contracting we went back to L&D to get checked and my cervix was at the. Exact. Same. Place (1-2 cm), meaning I wasn't progressing. So at 3:30am they sent us home and I was starting to panic. (Are they kidding? Try some TYLENOL?! How much longer am I going to have contractions this hard with no dilation?). Since starting labor at the end of a day is probably the worst possible time as far as exhaustion, I had Steve get some shut-eye while I bounced on the exercise ball, walked around, and tried to lie down and sleep (ha!). No position was comfortable and about every 5 minutes I had an awful contraction. Finally I couldn't take it any more so we went back to the hospital around 7am on Monday.

Nurse Jill was now on duty and, after an internal exam, let me know that I still hadn't dilated enough to be admitted. She introduced me to our L&D nurse (Cathy) and hooked me up to the baby monitor, but laying down for contractions was even harder than walking around. We were given the option of walking the halls some more or going home, and the latter was too much for me to take mentally. By now the fourth floor was bustling with activity, which was pretty tough in terms of privacy when dealing with painful contractions. In general what makes a difficult situation even more challenging for me is to have a third party even acknowledge what's going on, or when I'm forced to verbalize it (like when I had my first NST and didn't call anyone until it was over) . People would see me have a a contraction, ask if I were okay, offer me a wheelchair, and otherwise sympathize with our Walk of Pain ("Been THERE!"), but it was all I could do not to have a meltdown and scream "Leave me alone!" Steve tried massaging my back, but for some reason even gentle touch would kick me out of my zone, so I asked him to stop. (Each time he tells the story it gets more severe. "Don't... touch... me!") We checked back in at L&D around 10am and Cathy, aware of our frustration and pain, said I was dilated about the same (2-3cm) but proceeded to use her fingers to stretch my cervix out to 3-4cm so they could admit me. (This was incredibly painful, but so worth it because of the results.)

---Turning Point---

To have a quiet, private room in which to labor was HUGE after walking around for nine hours, but it also turned out that I was also dilated enough to receive an epidural. It took about an hour to get an anesthesiologist, but in the meantime I got a dose of Nubane "to take the edge off." It made a huge difference in the amount of pain I was feeling and also made me feel drunk and happy after being so miserable. I highly recommend this if you're in labor and holding out for an epidural.

I rolled/bounced on the exercise ball and did some more walking/swaying for a while, then anesthesiologist Dr. Thompson came and started the epidural. I know these guys are trained to do this procedure and have a lot of experience, but I still had a healthy fear of having irreparable damage to my spinal cord. Cathy helped keep my shoulders forward and back rounded (like a mad cat at Halloween), but I had a contraction right in the middle of the procedure and it was all I could do to stay still. So for those of you wondering how much it hurts to have a huge needle in your epidural space, I'll have you know that the bee-sting shot of numbing medication beforehand was the worst part for me. They did have Steve sit down where he could see my face but not my back, but the epidural was anticlimactic in general. And now that walking was no longer an option I also got a Foley catheter and *finally* a little sleep.

At this point my legs felt like they were asleep, but I had no pain anywhere from the chest down and could feel very little else (temperature, pressure, etc.) At some point (4pm?) Cathy said my cervix was "tissue thin" and dilated 6cm so she broke my water. But through the afternoon my contractions had become less regular and farther apart, so I was given a small amount of Pitocin to get things going again.

I took another nap (again, I'm a big fan of the meds!) and the next thing I remember is Cathy and Jill waking me up to put an internal monitor on the baby. After the monitor was installed they took me off Pitocin and gave me an oxygen mask. I mentioned that I thought I could still feel a little wetness under my legs, then we realized that I had been sitting in bedding that nobody noticed had gotten soaked with amniotic fluid. With teamwork reminiscent of choreography they changed the entire bed with me lying in it. Once everything settled down they let me know that the internal monitor and oxygen were because Olivia's heart rate had dropped, setting off alarms at the nursing station and causing a general freak-out which I had been too loopy to notice. Cathy checked my cervix again and was very surprised to find it thickened (swollen) and the dilation was down to 3-4cm indicating that things were regressing. She thought the swelling was probably due to a condition where the baby's head was too big for the pelvic opening and I was all like, "You mean I've got CPD." And she was all like, "How do you know what that is?" And I told her that CPD and having a gargantuan baby has been my concern (nightmare?) ever since we learned about it during our childbirth prep classes.

Dr. Nashed (my OB on call) came up to discuss the options: Wait it out to see if things started progressing again, or have a C-section. Then Steve and I discussed it in private and it went something like this: "What do you think I should do?" "Well, when we were walking the halls I was thinking about this and realized that if you have a C-section you never have to go through labor again." "Awesome, that's what I was thinking. I was secretly hoping for a C-section all along!" Dr. Nashed and Cathy came back in and agreed that the section was what they thought was best, so I was wheeled into the OR and prepped for surgery right away. Since I couldn't feel my legs I was moved by the team to the operating table ("on three") and within a few minutes the barrier was hung and Steve and I could only listen to Dr. Nashed say as little as he could during the surgery ("Irrigation." "You're going to feel a lot of pressure.") Meanwhile the anesthesiologist, Dr. Hagan, was saying as much as he could, telling jokes to keep things upbeat. ("Dr. Nashed has good hands." "So where did you guys meet?" "How many times did he have to propose?") He also took a bunch of pictures and printed several out for us by the time I was stapled shut. Olivia was born at 6:03pm; the surgery took 45 minutes and then I was in the recovery area for an hour. Meanwhile Steve watched the team clean up the baby and take her stats (weight and height: gargantuan), and then he called our parents. I was wheeled to my room in the Mother-Baby unit at 7:30pm, a day after my contractions had started.

Recovery has gone well, although a lot of it has been a blur because of the repetition. Highlights were definitely all the visitors that we got (the friend variety, not the vitals lady). We're looking forward to going home tomorrow!

The Name

Steve and I spent a lot of time mulling over what to name the baby. We developed a list of guidelines and spent countless hours tossing around possibilities. Some people care a lot about the meaning of a name, but because most names' meanings seem to be kind of arbitrary, putting a lot of emphasis on a name's meaning baffles me as much as trying to understand why some women choose unmedicated childbirth. Parents probably use certain names because they wish their child to have a certain attribute, like "mighty" or "beautiful", but what does that mean about children whose names are kinda neutral, like "hazelnut" or "tile maker"? (Don't get me started on parents who name their children Lawyer/Winner or have their children start violin and Latin lessons at age 2. Do we need to review how Dead Poet's Society ended?)

We chose Olivia because we think it is a beautiful name without being too juvenile or sophisticated, too long or short, too old-fashioned or trendy. It is familiar but not overused in our neck of the woods. I looked up its meaning just to check before we made our final decision, and according to one source it means "elf army." Where did that come from? No idea, but I am told that elves have a positive connotation in the Lord of the Rings series and heck, we like "Elf" the movie enough to watch it every Christmas. Shakespeare made up the name Olivia, for heaven's sake, so that illustrates how I fail to see the significance in name meaning. But, Olivia also means olive/olive tree and peace because of the olive branch's symbolism. So there. Because we named her Olivia our child will surely bring world peace. Or at least love the olive bar at Wegmans.

Actually, our biggest hangup with naming our daughter this was that Olivia Hussey also happens to be the name of an actress best known for her role as Juliet in the 1968 version of Romeo and Juliet, but we don't think that's a big deal.

Jayne is the middle name we chose, mainly because we like the way it sounded. But for the record it means "God is gracious," and we totally agree. We used the alternative spelling to keep it from being plain and, because it's her middle name, we hope she doesn't have to constantly correct people. "Jayne with a Y." "Janey?" "No, J-a-y-n-e."

So anyway, we didn't use any family names or have close friends named Olivia or Jayne, we just liked the name and that's why we chose that for our sweet little girl.

Introducing

All three of us are doing well, excited but kinda wiped out so I'll save the details for later.

How thoughtful

I wish I had a quarter for every time I heard, "You haven't had that baby yet?" or "You're still pregnant?"

A little progress

I'm not in labor, but there are things happening. TMI alert for the rest of this post!

I had been having more-than-normal discharge during the night and in the light of morning I realized it was pinkish brown (probably indicating I'm losing my mucous plug with "bloody show" - I know - eww!). But, it had more of a liquid consistency than mucous and so I was a little concerned that it may be amniotic fluid with meconium in it. (Amniotic fluid="water breaking"=baby must be delivered within 24 hours because of the increased risk of infection.) The baby wasn't moving around much, so I had some juice and within a few minutes I could feel little Olga/Oscar squirming around. I spoke to the doctor on call (Leonard) and he suggested coming in to get checked out, just to be sure things were okay. Steve and I put our hospital bags in the car but didn't call anyone because I didn't really get the feeling that I was labor.

Up in L&D Nurse Jill (love her) ran tests to see what the substance was, and I even got a positive on the AmniSure, indicating a presence of amniotic fluid. But Jill cautioned me that the nursing staff has actually nicknamed it the Amni Not-So-Sure because it often gives a false-positive result. So, Dr. Leonard did a fern test (a check for amniotic salts using a microscope) and it was negative, confirming our suspicions that it was my mucous plug and not amniotic fluid. I did find out that my cervix is softened and *a fingertip* dilated (less than 1cm), and although that is relatively insignificant I still consider it to be progress over the last few exams! I was given a nonstress test and the baby appears to be healthy and happy. Jill and Steve told me when I had contractions on the monitor, but I'm still not feeling any of them.

Can I just state the obvious and say that all the diagnostic tests and equipment are fascinating to me? Biology rocks.

I'm trying to convey instructions to the baby for puncturing the amniotic sac with fingernails/toenails, but so far that's not working. Steve installed the car seat and is generally being the perfect, doting husband. Next up is my weekly appointment on Monday if nothing changes. Thank you for all the well-wishes and I'll try to keep you posted!

Due

Today is my official due date according to the first ultrasound. I slept in and had a wonderful lunch with my girlfriends from gradeschool. Steve started a batch of beer and we took naps. Okay, I wasn't tired so I just watched and felt the baby moving and listened to the precious sound of my family (Steve & Riley) slumbering on either side of me. We went out for dinner (no sitter needed!) and saw Marley & Me; it was so funny and sentimental and I think our precious firstborn will be sleeping on the bed tonight.

So, we're hanging in there and doing well, trying to stay occupied. Sorry I don't have any baby news for you!

39 Weeks (and change)

Today I saw Dr. Craft for my weekly checkup. My BP is normal, I've gained 3lb of Christmas cookie weight since last week, and my abdominal measurement was less than noteworthy (I didn't ask). He said the baby's heart rate is healthy and the internal exam confirmed what I suspected; there's nothing happening in that neck of the woods (the words "unfavorable," "uncooperative," and "unripe" were used). My due date is this Friday, so I'll go for my regular checkup next week unless I go into labor before then.

Audrey the nurse gave us some feedback on the first name we've chosen and the middle names we're considering. I guess we're not going with Franz Hubert/Helga Magdalena after all.

This morning Steve and I were trying to estimate our 2009 medical expenses for the FSA, so I finally picked a pediatrician (Dameron) in order to talk to the receptionist to get an idea of how many well-baby visits we can expect to have. Of course I can still be swayed because we don't officially pick a doctor until the baby arrives, so feel free to make last-ditch plugs for your pediatrician of choice. It's funny how ardently everyone "sells" their doctor, which is annoying because it doesn't help me to make a decision but also comforting that perhaps this town only has excellent pediatricians.

My symptoms in general: I'm feeling well overall, up and about, sleeping as well as can be expected. The round ligament pain has gotten better, acid reflux has gotten worse, I still have Fiona Feet and nighttime arthritic hips, and from time to time I still get that other TMI symptom which will remain nameless (you're welcome, Nooty). New this past week: The baby pushes on the low anterior part of the entourage to the point where I have to practice my breathing exercises. Also I have started getting what I think are back spasms; throbbing pain in my thoracic vertebrae for 5-10 seconds and then it goes away. That, too, may just be the baby reacting to increasingly cramped quarters.

Anyway, I'm being patient and content to be pregnant, and very much looking forward to a quiet Christmas at home. I wish you safety, fun, and good food this week!

Plan A, Plan B

I would love to know when this baby is going to make an appearance, but it dawned on me that clearing my schedule is not the way to deal with the suspense. So I'm putting stuff on the calendar and making plans with my friends and family, realizing that there's a Plan B for every Plan A event. Plan A: Walk with Mom*, Coffee with Jill*, Weekly Checkup*, Winter Wonderland*, Christmas Eve Service*, Cinnamon Rolls and Fruit Compote*, Open Gifts*, Pot Roast and Ambrosia Salad for Dinner*, Lunch with out-of-town friends*...

*Unless I go into labor, in which case Plan B is to put my glasses and robe in my hospital bag, shave, close my Etsy store, call the dog sitter, and email people involved with any Plan A activities.

I'm kind of glad to be able to participate in Christmas events, because if the baby were already here I might be kinda tied down and exhausted this week. I've gotten together with my girlfriends to make jewelry and knit, had people over to eat and watch football, gone out to eat a lot, drove to Gainesville a couple times for "last hurrahs" at Bonefish & Wegmans (and may continue to do so until the baby comes), and made every effort to just enjoy my time with Steve in general.

Not to mention that all this time I have been filling jewelry and kit orders for Christmas. More about that here.

Maybe it's all the rain

Several years ago I went to a Friday night talk with one of our pastor's wives and the topic ended up being grieving. Not necessarily death, but grieving our former life, the way things used to be. Of course to a bunch of newlywed girls this seemed really heavy and negative - we wanted to hear about happy stuff. But now I think I get it.

Although on a typical day I'm upbeat and excited about the baby, I've had pockets of time over the past few weeks where I'm clinging to the way things are right now, DINKs, just Steve and me. I know that Parenthood is going to be so rewarding and our capacity to love this baby will blow my mind, but for now I don't want to think about it. I love laying in bed at night and talking about our day or going out to eat with 30 seconds notice. I love going on vacation and only having to have our mail held and our neighbor to dog-sit for days on end. Now it's going to be a debate about whether we can bear to leave little Aloysius/Adelaide home for even a day.

So if you ask me if I'm ready to have this baby, I'll probably say yes just because pregnancy is getting a little more painful, but inside I'm still thinking no, that I'm enjoying the last little bit of our days "BC" (before children).

A little holiday pregnancy humor

Lyrics from the song by Nancy White....

It's so chic to be pregnant at Christmas
I feel like the "round yon virgin" of yore
'Cause though I have a warm bed to sleep in
There's no room for me when I go to the store

'Cause the aisles are so narrow and crowded
Christmas shopping has never been such a pain
(gasp) Here comes another Braxton-Hicks contraction
And I'm knockin' over knick-knacks again

Oh, the salesclerks are so friendly this Christmas
One said, "Oh God, lady, don't have it here"
Their discretion and manners go right out the door
When I and my stomach appear

People like to put their hands on my fundus
And they want to know exactly when I'm due
I say, "Why do you care? Are you planning to be there?
I could use an extra labor coach or two!"

I am such fun at a party
Trying hard to get high on life
Desperately avoiding the smokers
Being introduced as someone's "little wife"
(Not-so-little wife)

No, I enjoy being pregnant at Christmas
Though my identity is draining away
And if I ever get asked my opinion again
I'll simply smile and continue to...crochet?

It's so Biblical to be pregnant at Christmas
No matter what stories you believe
And I may suffer from gravid senilis...and heartburn and nausea and charlie horses and overwhelming fatigue...and frequent micturation and varicose veins and...swollen ankles and shortness...of breath...and that...tired, achy feeling in the grooooooin...
But I won't be alone on New Year's Eve
Fa-La-La-La-La La-La La La

38.5 Weeks

Had my weekly checkup today and everything is normal, but there's nothing going on in my netherquarters. And I realized that Steve and I now weigh the same. And the Dr. Nashed noted that this is not a small baby. I'm going to take a nap now.

Congratulations, Karen and Craig

My friend Karen had her baby over the weekend! We went to visit her and little Grace Caroline just hours after the delivery yesterday (and did another dry run for ourselves). Karen's due date was 12/19 so she said I can have it now.

That reminds me... We have our first claim staked in the Baby Pool, so lock in your vote soon or else Val is going to have all the bragging rights.

Note to self: charge camera battery so you can post pictures of the sweet little one!

37 Weeks + 5 Days

I'm rotating through the four doctors at my new OB practice, so today I met Dr. Leonard for the first time. I almost laughed out loud when he came in because he looks like Dr. Spaceman (That's pronounced spə-chěmʹĭn) on 30 Rock. I had my weekly checkup today and there's not a whole lot going on. A little softening of my cervix, that's it. My BP is normal and (sorry) I didn't ask for the stats on my weight, the baby's heart rate, abdominal measurement, etc.

When I asked what happens if nothing happens for 2 more weeks, Dr. Spaceman Leonard said they normally induce at 41 weeks but they are also sensitive to that being the end of the year, so I think it's safe to hope this will be a December baby after all. He also made a guess that the baby's weight is currently about 7.5 pounds and showed me how little Fred/Clementine is positioned, which is pretty much like this previously posted diagram but facing the other way. So, I took a picture to show you where I'm feeling lumps... My left hand is where he said the spine is, the head is pointing down, there's a butt (maybe knees?) along the top/front side, and my right finger is pointing to where I often get feet sticking out right under my rib cage. Little, distinct feet. You can replicate this by poking your tongue out the side of your cheek as far as it will go. That's about the size and shape of the knob poking out of my side.

As far as symptoms, I can't feel any Braxton-Hicks contractions (although I am told they are happening), my feet and ankles are still swollen, I have a tough time falling asleep at night, my Tums supply is dwindling, and getting up from (or rolling over while in) a horizontal position resembles a turtle trying to right itself from its back. Otherwise I am doing well, still happy, working my butt off, walking 1-2 days a week, and hanging out with friends as much as possible. My friends Mary and Erika came over yesterday to help me organize the nursery and that was a HUGE help. I think we're ready.

37 Weeks, Still Smilin'

This morning I was looking down at my belly, trying to picture how big the baby will be when finally laying in my arms. Of course I got all choked up when I thought about how we have only a few weeks until that actually happens. I get to meet my child after the better part of a year of visualizing and imagining and dreaming...

Not too soon, though, kiddo. I have a lot to do before you arrive.